Tasers are the new Tupperware.

Due to some sketchy incidents at my apartment, my family and friends have been urging me to get some sort of weapon. My dad’s first choice was for me to purchase a gun and take firearm classes. Considering that my very first “C” was from my 7th grade Hunter’s Education class (yep…that’s right, they sent 13 year-olds out into a field with BB guns to learn how to shoot), this does not seem like a wise idea (much like the premise of the class).

Ruling out other options, (ie. knives [won’t go there], hiring a bodyguard, installing a state of the art home security system, learning karate) I have become fixated on purchasing a taser. My desire to purchase a taser has become a frequent point of conversation.

Mitch actually sent me this article a couple of months ago about how taser parties have replaced Tupperware parties.
Taser = Tupperware

Then I got an email from a friend telling me about the new taser/MP3 holster (I know, strange combo….and I feel that I should be slightly concerned that people automatically associate me with this product.).
Taser = Music
Fox News’ even has a recommended song choice: Aerosmith's "Lightning Strikes" and, of course, any number of "Don't Tase Me, Bro!" remixes.

This little pink taser would be my personal pick (btw, I love that this is on a site called “RV Protection Products")…
Taser = Pink
And you gotta love that the leopard print taser was marketed as the taser option for the consumer who wants fashion with a kick!

Fight the Funk

For the past month, I’ve felt slightly ‘off my game’. I don’t mean this in a creepy, dating reference way. I merely mean that I haven’t been my witty, efficient, motivated self. I’m even getting lazy in my typing…leaving a letter or two off of normal words (ie. Broke Spoke instead of Broken Spoke…or writing manic instead of maniac…um, yeah...not ok). Not only do I feel sluggish, but I feel like my intelligence dwindles by the day. Needless to say…this MUST change.
Unfortunately I seem to operate best by lists…and I say unfortunately, because I usually lose my lists (due to my current lack of personal organization—note: date books are great…until you have 4 and randomly update each one). But I figured if I make this list electronic, then I can always know where it’s at. So here’s my “Fight the Funk” to do list:

• Plan out my trip to Paris ☺ (Yes, I will be the dorky American tourist wearing the “Bon Jour” tee shirt.)
• Learn key French phrases/words (particularly, where’s the nearest bathroom?....I doubt “donde esta el bano?” will suffice)
• De-clutter my apartment/prep for inevitable move
• Deep clean my place
• Take an art class at Laguna Gloria
• Volunteer at church/for a non-profit
• Organize my personal files
• Make a chronological family photo book (aka. Growing Up Keeler)
• Buy a new cell phone (possibly a BlackJack II?)
• Back up music library
• Sell Barbies (my pristine, in-box Barbie collection needs to go)
• Establish exercise routine (my blood pressure demands this)
• Create a healthy diet list (refer to previous bullet point)
• Purchase a piano music book (for the fantastic old-school keyboard my granny gave to me)

PS - I created a “Fight the Funk” music playlist as well…