float on

Dear Comal,

Yesterday you pushed me down and hit me in the knee (while drawing the tiniest bit of blood), but I think that only made our time together more lively and adventurous. Thanks for hosting my "polygamist family" as we floated along....I'm sure our discussions were highly educational to you.  You and your wily ways....kept trying to separate me from the group, but we had a "no toob left behind" policy [and yes, I really did just spell tube like that....on purpose].  You definitely amused me while I was the DD (designated drifter). Next time, I might throw you off-guard and bring my wine-in-a-juice-box...who knows what fun we'll have then!

B

phone chronicles...

with an anonymous, awesome friend....

my friend was trying to talk me into wearing my hair curly [note: my hair is naturally straight...curls seem to be something beyond my hair's comprehension] for an event this upcoming friday:

me:  "you don't understand...my hair looks awesome for maybe the first hour, but then everything goes awry"


aaf:  "seriously....I'm sure it's not that bad!"


me:  "I'll send you a photo to prove it!"


aaf:  "[long pause].......[snort]...HAHAHAHA.....Ok, maybe it IS that bad!!"


me:  "hahahaha....I told you so! so I think straight hair is the way to go..."


aaf:  "[still laughing] agreed!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------


minutes later, on the subject of guy prospects:


aaf:  "well...I give all your damn bastards the benefit of the doubt."

me:  "hahahahaha....yes, you do...and I'm gonna quote you on that. Plus I think you could add that along with awesome friend and extremely honest (especially in regards to my hair) to your personal resume."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

several minutes after that:

aaf:  "[giggling]....sorry...still laughing about your hair"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

**originally forgot to include this section...
even later in the convo (in the midst of another topic):

aaf: "seriously, what friends were you with that didn't inform you that your hair had transformed into a hot mess??...b/c you really shouldn't be friends with them anymore. [still snickering]"

me: "[chuckling] actually I'm supposed to be a bridesmaid in one of their weddings..."

[laughter interlude]

aaf: "you should rethink that."

warning: this may end up in a sitcom

As I was waiting in the Austin airport to board my delayed flight to Long Beach, Carla called to chat with me about my transportation to Laguna. Carla had originally planned to pick me up, but then she found out that me and one of Jason's friends were actually coming in on the same flight...and this guy apparently had his friend [Jason's friend's friend....ummm, yes this gets confusing] picking him up on the way to Laguna...so she asked if I would be ok hitching a ride with them [Jason's friend {who we'll call Dude One} & Jason's friend's friend {who we'll call Dude Two}]...and since I'm a fan of adventure I (of course) agreed.

First, I have to find Dude One...who Carla had described as "a really tall guy who looks like he should be in Weezer"....note to all: most guys flying from Austin to Long Beach seem to fit this description. Just when I was about to call Carla back and tell her that finding this guy was like picking out Waldo in a scene where everyone's dressed like Waldo.....a guy walks up to me and says, "umm hey...I think you're Brooke"....ummm, yes that would be me. My introduction to Dude One. [One of my friends was like, "he prob was told to look for a petite, quirky Nancy Drew look-a-like with her iPod on and a book in-hand"]

While Dude One definitely had some Weezer-esque qualities (with the Buddy Holly glasses and tattoos)....he totally looked like Phil Dunphy from Modern Family! I'm a huge fan of that show...so the fact that Dude One not only looked like Phil, but the fact that he talked like him too was a genuine novelty to me.

Finally we made it to Long Beach, and got picked up by Dude Two....who just happened to resemble Mitchell & drive a Prius....needless to say, I had to restrain myself from giggling throughout the 45-minute car ride. Especially since I was wedged between car seats in the back seat.

When I shared this experience with my office mates (who also happen to be fans of the show)...they extrapolated that I was riding with the true inspirations for the characters...and therefore could end up in an upcoming episode as random girl #2 who Mitch and Phil "accidentally" pick up at the airport on their way to a wedding.  

ps - click here to see some professional pics from Carla's wedding!

california dreamin'

Guess all the dream talk during my vacation inspired a San Fran-related dream...which went something like this:

Krystal was in the process of purchasing an enormous house in San Fran. Being the generous person that she is, she invited me and several others to live in the place...(apparently my brother and his wife were looking at moving in as well...among numerous others...so I guess it the house was going to be a commune of sorts). Thankfully the place was ENORMOUS...to give you a better idea, the back wing had a movie theater in it.

However, there was a hitch as Krystal tried to sign the closing papers. Jon Voight, Jennifer Aniston & Angelina Jolie showed up to protest her purchase (apparently they wanted the place as well...enough that they were willing to work through their personal issues)...and in an insanely short amount of time the housing dispute went from being somewhat civil to an intense full-blown war (with actual guns, knives, etc). Krystal (somewhere amidst the breakdown in decorum) took on the appearance of Courtney Cox in a black, full-body super-spy outfit...and I magically changed into cocktail dress with a bullet proof vest hidden beneath it (b/c that's how I roll...at least in my head!).

Krystal/Courtney and I ran down the road to find cover from the bullet tirade...and as we were looking for cover, we unearthed (yes, it was underground...and no, I don't know why) a Toyota FJ that apparently was bulletproof...however in the process of getting in the car...Jon, Angelina & Jennifer drove by and shot at us again...this time Krystal/Courtney got hit directly in the chest. Fortunately she was saved by her cleverly disguised bullet proof vest.

Once Krystal/Courtney & I got back to the house, we immediately headed to the theater for a cocktail party (which explains my dress...at least to some extent). I also noted at this point that Krystal/Courtney's face was falling off (so I guess she was wearing a disguise to look like Courtney Cox...perhaps to confuse Jennifer Aniston??). Of course, Jen, Jon & Angelina were hot on our trail. But as they approached...I loudly exclaimed, "Oh my gosh...is that Angelina Jolie with Jennifer Aniston?!" and they were instantly swarmed by celebrity-seeking party guests. This quick and utterly ridiculous diversion allowed Krystal and I to escape....and ultimately live for another day.  :)

surreality: my subconscious at work, part II

Recently, Paste Magazine posted a list of the 20 Creepiest Kids' Movies of All Time ...and as I was reading through the list, I remembered that I had an extremely strange dream a few months ago that combined two of the films from this article.

Here's the basics of this Jim Henson/Return to Oz trip-fest....
1. I looked like Kira (and, I don't mean in a real, human way...I mean I was Kira the muppet)
2. My guy friend [*Dude] looked like Jen (again I mean, the muppet)
3. I've never actually seen Dark Crystal...so it is beyond me as to why I dreamed about these characters.

Me and *Dude were in the abandoned futuristic city of Dallas, frantically being chased by Wheelers (these Return to Oz baddies thoroughly creeped me out as a kid). We finally decided to take refuge in an airstream trailer...which proved to be a wise choice, since the Wheelers couldn't open the door with their wheel-hands. [Initially I thought it was a good dream ending, but then again how long can you survive in an airstream trailer??...I guess, forever if you're a muppet..?]

During my San Fran trip, I divulged this hilariously quirky dream to Krystal & Cherie...Krystal kept trying to figure out a way to make the dream fit in 140 characters or less, so it could be described in a twitter post. Since that didn't work out...I figured a blog would have to do!

*Guy friend who will not be named :)