Thursday, May 20, 2010

surreality: my subconscious at work

This past year for SXSW, Jen and I happened to wander into the ReadyMade Rocks Party seeking warmth and fun crafts. Fortunately the party offered a sanctuary from the shocking outdoor chill, and the event (to our pleasant surprise) introduced us to a band that quickly won us over....which made up for the lack in actual crafts.

Something about the cozy haven of the Beauty Bar Annex at Palm Door, combined with the mellow tunes of Everest, really struck a cord with me. When Everest started singing "Rebels in the Roses," I couldn't help but glance around and notice how hypnotic the entire scene was:  the people in their coats and scarves casually scattered around the room, all moving in rhythm with the music...and there was just something about the setting (the white board walls, exposed beam ceilings, light-infused windows and wood floors) in conjunction with the song that made it all hauntingly beautiful.

Obviously, the song made an impression on me...so much so, that it has managed to infiltrate my subconscious thoughts...

I recently had a dream that was pretty much all about this song. In the dream, I was walking through a suburban neighborhood...it was a beautiful sun-drenched day soaked in sepia tones...there were people walking their dogs down the street, various bicyclists cruising along, guys outside tinkering with their cars, families doing yard work, kids playing in sprinklers, etc...

BUT everyone in the dream (regardless of what they were doing) was either singing or humming the song "Rebels in the Roses"....and it was even more eerie considering that there was no background music...it was all acapella (and on-pitch).   I was walking down the street in a trance-like state...completely confused by the entire situation. I distinctly remember internally questioning how everyone knew the song, and why everyone seemed to be singing it at this exact moment. However I was in awe that everyone was singing in unison, and equally excited that they did know the song. Just as I started to ration out (still in my dream) that I merely had to be daydreaming (since I seemed so removed and alienated from the spontaneous performance), a little boy came running by me and he looked directly me at me as he sang the line,  "Can you come out, I'm outside, can you hurry?"

The dream ended with everyone stopping their activities and turning to me as they hummed the last few bars of the song. When I woke up, I had to convince myself that it hadn't really happened...

ps - Just in case you're curious about the song, I posted a video of it below...but I truly don't feel like it does the song justice. Of course, many times, things are much cooler in my head than they actually are in real life....and I'm ok with that. :)

Monday, May 3, 2010

grace, for giving

So, it's funny that as I'm reading this book (Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott), I haven't been expecting much. But as I keep trucking along, various statements are striking through me like lightning bolts.

These reflections from a chapter on forgiveness hit me like cold water in the face...
In fact, not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.
The clipping said that forgiveness meant that God is for giving,  and that we are for giving too, and that to withhold love or blessings is to be completely delusional.
Man...the imagery of the rat poison comment alone was enough to stop me in my tracks. I mean, I've been that person...expecting someone else to suffer because of anger/resentment/hurt I've held on to...only to realize that it's only me who's suffering from my own bitterness. Which made me even more thankful for the reminder of grace...
[Grace is] unearned love - love that goes before, that greets us on the way. It's help you receive when you have no bright ideas left, when you are empty and desperate and have discovered that your best thinking and most charming charm have failed you.

It's not a long book....in fact, I've devoured much lengthier reads than this in much less time...but this is one I'm having to take a little slower (mainly because it keeps taking swipes at my precarious walls). Honestly I do have some issues with the book, but there are occasional redeeming kernels of truth that make me stop, think and pray....and those moments just break me a little more (in a good way).

On a sidenote...let me just say: I love God's timing...seriously, He's got great timing. I say that because a couple of friends recommended this book to me several years ago...and it wasn't until two years ago that I actually purchased a copy. I obviously put off reading it until now...but this is when I needed to hear these messages the most.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

the illusionist

I'm currently reading "Traveling Mercies" by Anne Lamott, and I just read a couple of sentences that really made me stop, think and re-read. She wrote:

A fixation can keep you nicely defined and give you the illusion that your life has not fallen apart. But since your life may indeed have fallen apart, the illusion won't hold up forever, and if you are lucky and brave, you will be willing to bear disillusion. 

Ugh....how true this is...and hard to live out (to bear disillusion)! I know that when I've been faced with difficult circumstances, I've shifted my focus to something that is more "manageable"....which is ironic considering the notion that I'm actually in control of any situation is a mere illusion in itself.

Oh, that I may be lucky and brave!

gnomadic adventures

Couldn't resist showing off the finished products!



Plus I have all these ceramic references that I'm just dying to throw out there....like:

Claying with fire!
Kilning me softly...
Don't glaze me bro!

Needless to say...I'm ready for another night of wine and pottery painting!