My Holiday

1. Awesome presents...including my beautiful new Macbook :)
2. Fun times with the fam involving several rounds of Mexican train & photos
3. Cooking lessons with my Grandy Sheppard
4. Crazy dreams like one in which I was fighting in a war (apparently I was a fighter pilot in training, and it was an all female war), one where I was sobbing because an older lady called me out for dancing inappropriately (because a. I was dancing alone and b. I did an arm wave from one side to the other)
5. Helping my parents pack up their house for their upcoming move
6. Catching up with hometown friends (unfortunately not all of them...next time Katie!)
7. Already planning our fam Christmas of 2009...which will hopefully involve a ski lodge....YAY!
8. My "Merry Me" card idea....basically funny holiday cards targeted at the "singles" demographic
9. Celebrating the announcements of loved ones....like the "unofficial" engagement of my bro
10. Taylor's gall stone attack at 3am on Christmas morning
11. Courtney and Allen's wedding in Mexico
12. Seeing the super featherweight boxing championship in Cozumel

my history trip

Got this idea from Jen's page. It's my "top fives" of things I would go back in time to see/do...

Musical Performances:
1. The Beatles, Shea Stadium, 1965
2. James Brown, Boston, 1968
3. Queen, Wembley Stadium, 1986
4. Led Zeppelin, Tampa FL, 1973
5. Woodstock, 1969 (for Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, CCR, The Who, etc)

Movie Releases (In Theater):
1. Star Wars
2. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
3. Singin' in the Rain
4. Casablanca
5. Dr. Strangelove

Biblical Events*:
1. When Jesus first visited the disciples after His resurrection
2. When Elijah was taken to heaven in a chariot of fire via a whirlwind
3. When David killed Goliath
4. When Jesus fed the 5000
5. When Moses parted the Red Sea for the Israelites to escape the pharoah & his army

Historical Eras/Events*:
1. The life of Queen Elizabeth I
2. The French court of Louis XIV, mainly to see the fashion
3. The women's suffrage movement in the US
4. The cultural and political movements of the 1960's in the US
5. The events and battles of England in the 6th century...mainly to see if King Arthur ever really existed...

Books I Want to Discuss with Their Authors:
1. The Great Divorce, C.S. Lewis
2. 1984, George Orwell
3. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
4. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
5. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee

Top 5 People from History I Wish I Could Talk to for an Hour:
1. Albert Einstein
2. Winston Churchill
3. Martin Luther King, Jr.
4. C.S. Lewis
5. Queen Elizabeth I

*Denote events that I would like a removed/non-participatory/movie-watching view of...mainly for safety purposes :)

sites to see

this is what happens when I'm limited to my apartment for a little too long... :)

Play to help feed people:
http://freerice.com/index.php

Expand your vocab:
http://www.buzzwhack.com/
http://www.urbandictionary.com/

Find cheap gas...near you:
http://www.gasbuddy.com/

Find a baby name...don't even ask how/why I ended up on this site:
http://www.nymbler.com/

Start your family tree...a nice segue from the baby name thing:
http://www.geni.com/

Photo editing:
http://www.picnik.com/

No frills event planning:
http://mobaganda.com/

Find color inspiriation:
http://www.colourlovers.com/

For small spaces:
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/

It's Wiki...in the sky...with diamonds...okay, maybe the last bit wasn't true:
http://wikisky.org/

The Periodic Table of Comic Books...another one that it's prob best not to ask about:
www.uky.edu/projects/chemcomics

two reasons

why I should have never gotten out of bed today....

1. I'm sick (like "who-cares-that-my hair-is-not-combed-and-I-am-in-pajamas-at-the-grocery-store-in-the-middle-of-the-day" sick)...and probably contagious. I mean, really...why in the world did I feel the need to show up to work today?! Especially to end up back at home just two hours after I went in...

2. I got a flat tire. Yep...as I was headed to go pick up a few things to make my day at home bearable, I had a blowout. Which meant I got to hike back to my apartment. yipee.

grrr....why can't I just learn to stay in bed when I'm sick...

: /

made-up word of the day: MOTO

MOTO (n.) - a matted photograph.

We should hang a couple of motos on that wall.

rock the vote

give me something good to eat...

I am not a huge fan of Halloween, at least in the scary/creepy sense. I don't like scary movies, and I've never stepped foot in a haunted house....so most of my Halloween memories are fairly wholesome...and centered around fun costumes and feeding my sugar addiction. As a kid, my mom would hand-sew my costumes...which I used to think was lame...but now I realize how awesome it was that I had a "one-of-a-kind" costume made just for me. I remember being so jealous of kids with their store-bought costumes. I desperately wanted to be Rainbow Brite for several years....I mean I totally could have rocked this costume...

I thought about being Rainbow Brite last year...unfortunately, the adult version of this costume is sooooo not appropriate to wear in public.  The trashy adult costume selection just makes me want to be a kid again...so I could  wear stuff like this:

or my absolute favorite....

(Mike is probably my favorite Pixar-Disney character...and the costume has a built-in candy pocket...it just doesn't get any better than that!)

I wasn't planning to dress up this year, but I was told yesterday that I HAD to. So I've opted to dress as "Sleeping Beauty"...my costume includes the following:

Pink dress

Pink eye mask

Tiara

Pink Fuzzy House Slippers

and I'll be carrying a pink pillow that says "Princess"

At the very least, I'll be comfy...plus I can take a nap and still be in character....

i heart chuck

Taylor and I informally designated Wednesday nights as our "chill out/TV" night. Our mid-week break usually involves chowing down on comfort food while we enjoy the latest Chuck and Heroes episodes via his laptop (due to the lovely falling out between KXAN and Time Warner). As if I wasn't already a huge fan of Chuck, they completely won me over with their latest guest star: Buster Bluth (he doesn't play Buster on the show...but I can't help but refer to Tony Hale by his Arrested Development alias)....and it looks like he will be on multiple episodes...

And I just threw in this clip because I thought it was funny....

feeling right this time of year...

I woke up this morning, and there was a cool briskness to the air...and I was once again overwhelmed by my enthusiasm for the fall season. I don't know if it's because I was born in the fall or if I'm just grasping at straws by looking for some type of logical reasoning...but something about this time of year makes me feel like the best version of me. It's as though I am completely and totally "at home".

I could list numerous reasons of why I love this time of year...the holiday season (I heart Thanksgiving like no other), the fashion (my obsession with cardigans is scary, not to mention the options that boots, scarves, etc provide), the colors, the food (there are so many fantastic dishes that just aren't "summer appropriate" like chicken and dumplings, chili, gumbo etc), college football (hook 'em horns!)...

but beyond everything else...you can feel it in the air...

say it ain't so, Joe...

This will probably be my one and only semi-political post of this year, and I will preface this by saying that it really has very little to do with the actual debate/political points of last night.

I have known for months now how I will vote in the upcoming election, so I haven't really felt the need to stay up on all the debates/gauntlet of interviews/political smoozing/etc. Yet for some reason I decided to tune into the vice presidential debate last night...maybe it was my curious nature getting the best of me or the morbid draw of watching a train wreck happen on live tv.

However, a catastrophe of national proportions did not occur (at least, from my point of view). I was actually pleasantly surprised by the performance of both candidates. BUT more than all the talk of policies, taxes, false promises for the future...something struck me more than anything else.

Joe Biden...

You see, here's a man that has spent his entire career working in the political machine, and instead of being the front man of his own campaign...he's essentially the (possible) first runner-up in America's largest/fiercest beauty pageant. 

He's done everything that a presidential candidate "should have" done (ie. spent serious time in the senate, chaired various committees, practiced law, etc)...he knows all the political jargon...he has the maturity that most have come to expect for the leader of our country.

But all of that doesn't really play into this election like it would have just four years ago...this is a year of historic changes in our presidential election...where the expectations of the past are no longer what the American populace seems to want. No matter which way the cards fall, there will be another "first" to add to the US History books.

Instead Biden is the head cheerleader of a man who is almost 20 years his junior...who doesn't have near the same experience or political pedigree...and Biden's slated rival is a spunky, wild-card  woman "of the people" who is making it known that she prefers not to be lumped in with the political guns of capitol hill.

All this to say that...I felt disappointment on behalf of Biden. Not because I want him to be our president....but last night while I was watching the debate, I just felt a wave of empathy for him....for being a guy put in his time (30+ years), followed the "how-to-become-a-president" pretty much by the book....only to realize that he's a Pip to a much more marketable Gladys.

ACL Videos...

Here are two of my favorite video clips that I took over the ACL weekend...I apologize in advance for the poor quality (sight and sound)...just know that these snippits do not do justice to the amazing performances delivered...

First up Jamie Lidell...unfortunately I realized that there was a bug on my arm part way through filming this, so you'll notice the camera droop and come back up...

and now a little of John Fogerty...this one is little more shaky, but I just could not stop dancing...

September Retrospect: My So-Called-Birthday-Hurricane-Festival of a Month

These are my playlists for my long drive home this upcoming weekend...

Part One:

September - Earth, Wind & Fire

In the Air Tonight - Phil Collins

Cheap Wine - What Made Milwaukee Famous

Hurricane - Jimmy Needham

Closer to the Sun - Slightly Stoopid

What's Been Going On - Amos Lee

Black Dog - Led Zeppelin

Nowhere Man - The Beatles

Blood on the Ground - Incubus

She's Gone - Daryl Hall & John Oates

Good Love is on the Way  - John Mayer

A Little Bit More - Jamie Lidell

Hold You in my Arms - Ray LaMontagne

Love Remains the Same - Gavin Rossdale

Sunshine of Your Love - Cream

Joy & Pain - Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock

Sittin on the Dock of the Bay - Otis Redding

Where It's At - Beck

Part Two:

Another Day - Jamie Lidell

It's Beginning to Get to Me - Snow Patrol

The Garden - Mirah

Black River - Amos Lee

Another One Bites the Dust - Queen

Rich Girl - Daryl Hall & John Oates

Take Me to the Riot - Stars

Piano Song - Meiko

Instant Karma - John Lennon

Firefly - Jimmy Needham

Rump Shaker - Wreckx-N-Effect

You are the Best Thing - Ray LaMontagne

Cochise - Audioslave

Bennie & the Jets - Elton John

Ramble On - Led Zeppelin

Under My Skin - Jukebox the Ghost

Map of the Problematique - Muse

Beg - Shane & Shane

Good Times - Sam Cooke

Textual Healing: My ACL Recap 2008

Let's cover the basics of this year's festival:

Who I saw:

What Made Milwaukee Famous - great way to start the weekend.

Vampire Weekend - apparently it wasn't a memorable performance b/c I keep forgetting that I saw them

Jamie Lidell - AMAZING...his performance was an unexpected surprise

Patty Griffin - beautiful as always...

Gogol Bordello - start wearing purple, wearing purple....loved the "lion king"

David Byrne - Yay for the dancers :)

The Swell Season - good, but definitely made me realize how tired I was

Fleet Foxes - nice way to kick off day two

The Fratelllis - eh

The Lee Boys - fun times

Eli Paperboy Reed & the True Loves - even more fun times

MGMT - another band that I keep forgetting that I saw, but I think I'm mentally blocking that crowd experience...seriously, Jen even texted that therapy may be required, and I concurred

John Fogerty -  I LOVED THIS SHOW....my fav performance, hands down! Plus he rocks a plaid pearl snap & bandana like no other...

The Black Keys - sounded awesome...I was camped out for the next show though

Allison Krauss & Robert Plant - loved that they sang "Black Dog"

Beck - enjoyable

Stars - surprisingly energetic beginning of day three

Blues Traveler - pretty much what I expected

The Raconteurs - good

Band of Horses - great show, as anticipated

Foo Fighters - sounded great, for what I heard of it

**Kevin Fowler - didn't really watch him, but he earned major cool points with me for playing "Sweet Emotion" and "Fat Bottomed Girls" which we heard on our way out....

"Loves" of this year's festival:

1. Jen came! Plus all of the other wonderful friends I spent time with.

2. The additional beverage options....especially the addition of Vitamin Water.

3. My preparedness....although my bag was heavy, I liked having everything I needed!

4. The little booklets instead of just pamphlets for the schedule....loved the book!

5. The fabric wristbands....awesome!

"Dislikes"....

1. The ever-growing mob of people.

2. The "dust/weed" fog that encompassed the entire area.

3. Thieving kids...one girl walked by talking about she just stole 5 pairs of sunglasses from on of the vendors...not cool, my dear....not cool.

4. My poor timing with my camera...I was like 10 feet away from Dave Grohl at one point...plus me and Jen think we were sitting next to the band members of Flyleaf pre-Jamie Lidell (if so, we are concerned about a few of their habits).

5. The two hour delay on texts....which I find ironic considering that AT&T is my carrier, and they are one of the big sponsors of the event. Blake commented that I might need "textual healing" after my weekend...and I agreed that it would be necessary. 

Overall, it was a wonderful festival experience. I had a blast listening to great tunes with great people. It's a little sad that it's already over, but  I must confess that it will be nice not to be out in the heat covered in grime with a questionable fog surrounding me at all times.

PS - Jen sat across the aisle from Allison Krauss on her flight home!

listen.read.LOVE.repeat.

It has come to my attention that I've had a very selfish focus/attitude over the past several months. I was reminded that I have been granted a lot of "free" time, and I think it is appropriate that I start using that time for a greater purpose.

Enter my current brain-child revelation:

listen.read.LOVE.repeat.

One day it occurred to me that I have more than my fair share of books and cds lying around, many of which will never get touched by me again....and it hit me that a lot of people probably have an excess of these items as well. I started thinking of ways these particular items could be used to benefit others. 

Here's the concept that I developed:

1. Take donations of used books and cds. 

2. Resell the items for a set price (currently thinking $5).

3. Put all profits towards a charity (possibly Children Mothers of Uganda).

Not only is this a way to expose people to different books/music for a reasonable price, but the more amazing thing is that it could help provide funds to save lives. This concept combines several of my passions, obviously music and literature...but also promotes recycling and more importantly a cause. The underlying idea is that we would listen to the needs of others, read information about how we can help, love people through our actions and repeat the process. 

This whole thing is still in the brainstorming stage...so I would appreciate any comments/suggestions. I'm currently investigating whether or not there may be any legal issues, and praying over which charity to support. 

I'm also praying for my faith to look and sound like this...

even if the ones I love turn around and crucify me, 

I won't ever let You down, 

I won't fall, 

I won't fall, 

I won't fall as long as You're around me

-washed by the water by needtobreathe

hurricane

I recently heard the song "Hurricane" by Jimmy Needham...and the lyrics just really resonated with me:

I have built a city here

half with pride and half with fear

just wanted a safer place to hide

I don't want to be safe tonight

I need You like a hurricane

thunder crashing, wind and rain

to tear my walls down

I'm only Yours now

I need You like a burning flame

a wild fire untamed

to burn these walls down

I'm only Yours now

I'm only Yours now

I am Yours and You are mine

You know that far better than I

and if destruction's what I need

then I'll receive it Lord from Thee

yes, I'll receive it Lord from Thee

and it's Your eye in the storm

watching over me

and it's Your eye in the storm

wanting only good for me

and if You are the war

let me be Your casualty

'til I'm Yours alone

I am only Yours

I am Yours alone, Lord

come be my hurricane

It's a hard idea to grasp...that destruction may be needed....definitely a concept that I wrestle with...

hip to be square

I think it's my restless nature kicking in, but I've been looking for ways to get involved/grow/learn/etc so that I'm not just going to work and doing the same old routine. I love the academic setting, but I'm not ready to commit to anything serious (ie. pursuing my masters)...so instead I recently started looking into the Informal Classes that UT offers. They have a fairly extensive catalog of courses to choose from...and, thanks to my erratic interests, I was fairly overwhelmed by all my options. Feel free to check it all out here.

Here are all of the classes that appealed to me...some slightly more legit choices than others...

Basic Pistol I - this is essentially what I already learned at Ladies' Night at Red's Shooting Range.

Hang Gliding - but alas I am too chicken....maybe one day...

Breakdancing - dang all the reality TV dance shows that make me think I could do this.

Intro to Street Jazz - curious as to what constitutes "street" jazz...I have visions of West Side Story.

Oil Painting - this is the only way I will get back into painting regularly...but it is also one of the most costly options...will have to wait for the summer.

How to Write a Comic Book Strip - my brothers used to make me do this all the time; might as well put my talents to use.

Writing Your First Book - they make it sound so simple.

How to Become a Private Eye 101 - umm...seriously considering this one-day seminar; and now, as if it wasn't bad enough that I am already in a Hall & Oates phase, I have the song Private Eyes permanently stuck in my head. 

These classes caught my eye, but only because I'm highly skeptical of the course content...

Write a Book in 3 Weeks - is this something that can really be taught?

Forgiveness Made Easy - refer to previous question. the "made easy" part is what I question.

Meditating with the Angels - really? it's sad that someone is going to make money for teaching this class...and even sadder that someone will pay to take this class.

I actually signed up to take the following two classes...

Texas Wine & Cheese - I mean, how could I pass a class up that involved wine and cheese?!

Personal Expression in Photography - keeping my fingers crossed that I will get in...out of college, but still subjected to being on a wait list for the class that I want!

long ride home

This past weekend, I made a long over-due trip back to Buna to catch up with my family, etc. It was weird going back this time around...especially since it was just me (no Mitch or Taylor tagging along for this trip). Heading back to the piney woods always brings back a surge of memories and emotions...some good, some not-so-good. In my mind, Buna exists in a space that has been frozen in time...in other words, I essentially expect everything to be the same as when I left it...even though I know the town (and the people) are changing just like everything else.

This weekend made me question why I've chosen to stay away for so long...it was a lot like having a hearty helping of comfort food for the soul. Nothing exceptionally great happened (in fact it was more of a sobering time), but I was just reminded of the community of people that have loved, raised and supported me...it made me realize how much I've taken that kind of environment for granted. 

Highlights of the weekend include:

*Visiting both sets of grandparents

*Hanging out with my parents/aunts/uncles/family friends at their Sunday School social

*Nabbing a picture of the cow that is my mom's namesake (b/c it was born on her b-day)

*Eating at Fausto's with my parents (along with the entire Buna coaching staff) 

*My mom's beef tips and rice...mmm...good stuff

*Gumbo courtesy of Tammy Gatlin :)

*Digging through old photographs for a Christmas gift project that I've started

*Watching the UT football game with my dad

*Getting a FryDaddy and 2lbs of fish (apparently my papa feels like it's time for me to learn how to fry my own fish...I was told if I didn't screw up this batch, then he would give me more fish to cook the next time I come home)

This past weekend was also incredibly sad...a good family friend, Mr. Bill Lee, passed away on Saturday evening. Growing up, he and his wife (Essie) were pretty much like an additional set of grandparents to me. They've been a part of my life ever since I was a toddler...some of my first memories are from back when my parents would go square-dancing with Lee's (and yes, I do have some glorious pics of their dancing exploits). I think everyone else was a lot more prepared for his passing than I was; his health had been declining for quite some time. I just was unaware of how truly serious his condition was. My mom called as I was driving in on Friday to tell me that she and my dad were headed to the hospital...they had gotten a call that Bill was not expected to make it through the night. It was then that reality really began to set in. 

I was at home by myself when the calls started coming in on Saturday evening to let us know that he had passed....and being the coward that I am, I refused to answer the phone because a.) I was operating on a "if I ignore it, then nothing bad happened" mentality (lame, I know), because answering the phone meant that it was real, not just speculation... b.) I didn't want to be the person responsible for giving the news to my parents, etc. As bad as the "not answering the phone" episode, I am more frustrated with myself for not staying in town to go the funeral yesterday, because I should have been there...especially for Essie.

turning three cubed...

Ok....so my 27th birthday is quickly approaching...and I'm not really in a celebratory mood this year. In order to get out of my birthday blues, I decided to research the number 27...which led me to dig through info regarding my birth year (1981) and day (September 2). Here's what I found:

notable facts about the number 27:

• Twenty-seven is the smallest positive integer requiring four syllables to name in English, though it can be unambiguously defined in just two: "three cubed." Twenty-seven is a perfect cube, being 3 to the third = 3 x 3 x 3. 27 is therefore the second smallest cube of a prime number. ( I plan to think of myself as a 3 year-old cubed...)
  
• There are a total of 27 books in the New Testament. (which, of course, makes the number holy.)
  
• Uranus has 27 moons. (no comment.)
  
• The number of completed, numbered piano concertos by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart; and his birthday (27 January 1756).
• The age in years at which many famous and supremely talented rock/blues musicians died, often referred to as the 27 Club. These include:
  

-Brian Jones

-Janis Joplin

-Jim Morrison

-Jimi Hendrix

-Kurt Cobain

(No need to worry about me joining this club...I'm not a famous, talented musician...and I definitely don't have a drug problem.)

tidbits about the year 1981:

• MTV was launched on Aug. 1
• Simon & Garfunkel reunited for a free concert in Central Park
• Researchers found the wreck of the Titanic in the North Atlantic
• Post It Notes were launched by 3M Corp
• 1981 in Music
• Crimes of the Heart won a Pulitzer Prize... (I played 'Babe' in this play when I was in high school....if you read the synopsis, you'll get an idea of how sketchy my role was.) 
  
• Popular Films of 1981:

-Raiders of the Lost Ark

         -Superman II

         -9 to 5

         -Chariots of Fire

and September 2nd:

• On September 2, 1935, George Gershwin signed his name to the completed orchestral score of the opera Porgy and Bess. The composer called the 700-page score his masterpiece and never ceased to marvel that he had created it. Many critics consider Porgy and Bess to be the first and finest American opera.
• On this day...September 2

To top things off, I made a special birthday mix....since music always gets me excited. Check out "twenty-seven is heaven" over on the right...it's a mix of 28 (27 + 1 to grow on) songs and artists that I love! :)

olympic mania

These past few days, I've basically been caught up in my tunnel-vision fascination with the Olympics. I LOVE these games...from watching Greg Louganis' dive and the controversy that followed, to wishing that I could skate like Oksana Baiul, to my crush on gymnast Blaine Wilson...I've just been mesmerized by these games and the athletes. My excitement has been building since March, which is when Meagan and I decided to see how much it would cost to go to an event in Beijing (since we each have the lifetime goal of seeing an Olympic event in person).  This sparked numerous investigations into the Winter Olympics which will take place in Vancouver of 2010 (much more feasible, right?). To offset the costs, we contemplated getting jobs with the Vancouver Organizing Committee....but the only job that we might be qualified to apply for is that of a Zamboni driver, plus we would have to start this fall. However, with the recent revelation that I might be able to afford tickets to the events (thanks to info at this site), our hair-brained work strategy is no longer necessary. I'm thrilled of the prospect of actually going to see an event in person, and I don't even care what event it is.

Holly and I pondered what it must be like to be the best in the world at something. I mean, really....what must that feel like? Especially for the young athletes...I mean, now much less at 16,I can't comprehend the mental and emotional magnitude of these events. Plus, if you win a gold medal when you're 16, where do you go from that point? Do you keep chasing your own records? Do you lose any motivation because you've already achieved the highest honor? Do you move onto something new....even after all the time, money, etc that you've invested into this one goal?

I literally cannot imagine being the absolute best in the WORLD at one particular thing. Holly and I kept trying to come up with a sport (made up or real) that we could train to be the best at. One of my favorite suggestions was when Holly said that she could be the best curler...hair curler that is (she held up her curling iron to emphasis the point). We also came up with most quotable, best sarcastic commentary, along with actual sports such as table tennis (which we think might be our best shot), or equestrian (which Meagan thinks could be my claim to fame). In our quest to find our "in"  through one of the random sports of the Olympics, we learned that tug-of-war used to be in the Olympic games...I think we should petition to get it back in the picture!

PS - new playlist entitled "Pick up the Receiver" over on the right side of my page...you should be able to check out one of my favorite tracks here (click on the box on the top right of the page).

every little bit...

"When I am afraid, I will trust in You."

Psalm 56:3 (NIV)

Over the past few weeks, this verse has definitely become my anthem. Praise God for laying to rest several of my fears...I fortunately got the good news that I don't have endometrial cancer, and I'm not going to have any kind of surgery for now. My excitement over my biopsy results led to a celebratory shopping spree that seemed to flow throughout the week (oops for getting a little carried away). However, there still remains the looming question as to what is causing my medical problems...which means my trips to doctor will continue.

I am hopeful though...I feel like possibilities are starting to be crossed off the list, so it's only a matter of time before I start getting some concrete answers (right?). And I am encouraged:

"But God's not finished. He's waiting around to be gracious to you. He's gathering strength to show mercy to you. God takes the time to do everything right - everything.

Those who wait around for Him are the lucky ones."

Isaiah 30:18 (The Message)

Life Lesson #78: Life is scary, even for adults

When I was a kid, I thought adults didn't get scared. I assumed that once I reached adulthood somehow my fears would magically disappear. Of course, over time I've realized that "grown-ups" do get scared...they're usually just better at putting up a brave front than most kids. I almost feel as though my fears have increased as I've gotten older...maybe not the same fears I had when I was younger...but my old nemeses have definitely been replaced with new, more tangible antagonizers. 

This past Thursday, I made yet another visit to the doctor. I was fully expecting it to be a 5 minute check-up visit, but unfortunately (thanks to my blood pressure) it was not. Instead, by the time I left, I had another round of blood work done, lots of unanswered questions and an appointment set up for an endometrial biopsy to be performed on July 25th. Daunting words like "surgery" and "cancer" are starting to be thrown around...and I'm just not ready to face those monsters. I am scared...but I am trying to face the situation with as much maturity as I can muster. However, I feel like a kid all over again...and I need my parents/family more than ever. Nothing comforts me more than knowing that my mom is coming out to hold my hand during my biopsy. 

I am praying specifically for the following:

1. That this is NOT cancer. 

2. That I won't have to undergo a major surgery.

3. That I will endure the biopsy, tests, blood work, etc with as much grace/maturity as possible.

4. That my heart and mind will not be overwhelmed by my fears.

Love is a Mix Tape

This book has been on my "to read" list for months...but on the plane ride to France, I finally took the time to read it.

Things I liked about it:
a. The mix tape list at the beginning of each chapter.
b. That he's not a music snob (as shown in his music tastes).
c. The honesty (especially in the grieving process).
d. The title.

Things I disliked about it:
a. It was, of course, very sad.
(warning: spoiler below)
b. At the very end, he briefly mentioned his new love...I don't know why this bothered me, but it did. I felt like he should have kept it completely about his first wife...or expanded a little more about his new love.

France: The Overview

Since it is going to take me an amazingly long time to transfer my journal scribblings into coherent blog postings, I figured I would write some highlights of my recent trip to France.

It was a trip of "firsts" for me:
*First time to eat a poached egg (which was delicious)
*First time to take a shot of alcohol (that was extremely potent) at breakfast
*First time to go to a concert in a foreign country (Explosions in the Sky were amazing)
*First time to attend a wedding in a foreign country
*First time to eat Moroccan food

My first journal entry included the following:
* I love cheese and bread! :-)
* I also love sleep....

Favorite things about the trip:
*Mont Saint Michel is an awesome place to visit...it's a town built on a mountain, so the town spirals around the mountain...and at the top there's a monastery.
*The wedding...the 15 hour extravaganza with unlike anything that I have ever been to (or will probably ever witness again)!
*The Explosions in the Sky concert at Elysee Montmartre...seriously one of the best shows I've ever seen.period.
*The older people who paint replicas of the paintings in the Louvre.
*Honfleur...it's a little boating town that is truly picture perfect.

I was the crazy American girl who:
*spoke in Spanish most of the time
*had the gut response of "grazie" (instead of merci) every time I said "thank you" (I honestly don't know where the Italian reply came from...Spanish would have at least been understandable)
*kept referring to the money as pounds instead of Euros
*somehow picked up the nickname "Butch"
*unconsciously mimicked a French accent when I spoke plain English (and trust me it came out poorly)

It's amazing that I didn't offend someone.

All about the music...

Thought I would share the 4 playlists that I created as a soundtrack for my recent trip to France:

Bon Voyage
1. Gone Gone Gone – Robert Plant & Alison Krauss
2. Dancin on My Grave – Ghostland Observatory
3. Head Trauma - The Dead Trees
4. Butterfly – Jason Mraz
5. Take My Love with You – Eli Paper Reed
6. In Love With a Girl – Gavin DeGraw
7. Yen on a Carousel – David Holmes
8. Our Swords – Band of Horses
9. Home – Marc Broussard
10. Winter Windows – Sea Wolf
11. Strange Times – The Black Keys
12. You Are Loved – Josh Groban
13. Sultan – What Made Wilwaukee Famous
14. If I Had Eyes – Jack Johnson
15. Foxes Mate for Life – Born Ruffians
16. One You Need – Ernie Halter
17. Drive My Car – The Beatles
18. Sea of Love – Cat Power
19. On Call – Kings of Leon
20. Come Back to Bed – John Mayer
21. Misunderstood – Better Than Ezra
22. Forgiveness – Patty Griffin
23. Atom – British Sea Power
24. All I Can Say – University Baptist Church
25. Pumpkin Soup – Kate Nash
26. Welcome, Ghosts – Explosions in the Sky
27. Let’s Stay Together – Al Green
28. Typical – MuteMath
29. Burning in the Sun – Blue Merle
30. See the World - Gomez



C’est Bon
1. Map of the Problematique – Muse
2. Lake Michagan – Rogue Wave
3. Beautiful Mistake – Rob Blackledge
4. Good Life – Andy Davis
5. Came to My Rescue – Hillsong
6. Reprise – Hillsong
7. King of New Orleans – Better Than Ezra
8. She Holds a Key – Gavin DeGraw
9. That’s That – Cass McCombs
10. Shine (Acoustic Version) – Anna Nalick
11. She Likes It – Dertybird
12. If You Want Me – The Swell Season
13. Many the Miles – Sara Bareilles
14. Do you Feel Me – Anthony Hamilton
15. Rock & Roll – Eric Hutchinson
16. Fiery Crash – Andrew Bird
17. We Are Not the Same – Good Shoes
18. Bitter Song – Buttefrly Boucher
19. Saint John – Cold War Kids
20. Moses – Patty Griffin
21. Deception – Blackalicious
22. Butterflies and Hurricanes - Muse
23. Hold you in My Arms – Ray LaMontagne
24. Alala - CCS
25. The General Specific – Band of Horses
26. The Tracks of My Tears – Smokey Robinson
27. Paper Float – Cassettes Won’t Listen
28. Meet With Me – Ten Shekel Shirt
29. Open Your Eyes – Snow Patrol
30. New Soul – Yael Naim


Pièce de Résistance
1. Killing the Blues – Robert Plant & Alison Krauss
2. You’re a Wolf – Sea Wolf
3. Everything – Lifehouse
4. Television – The Dead Trees
5. As – Stevie Wonder
6. Love in an Elevator - Aerosmith
7. Chocolate – Snow Patrol
8. Star of Wonder – Alpha Rev
9. I Turn My Camera On – Spoon
10. Laughing - Winterpills
11. Sovereign Hands - Hillsong
12. Act Together – Band of Horses
13. Little Wing – Stevie Ray Vaughan
14. Don’t Let Me Down – The Beatles
15. Arms of a Woman – Amos Lee
16. Shattered – The Rolling Stones
17. Your Hand in Mine – Explosions in the Sky
18. High – James Blunt
19. Mississippi Queen – Mountain
20. An Innoncent Man - Billy Joel
21. Vegas – Sara Bareilles
22. Mercy Me – What Made Milwaukee Famous
23. Suspicious Minds – Elvis Presley
24. Stars – David Crowder Band
25. Industry – Jon McLaughlin
26. Nothing From Nothing – Billy Preston
27. These Streets – Paolo Nutini
28. That’s All - Genesis
29. Useless Desires – Patty Griffin
30. Why Do I Keep Counting? – The Killers


Encore
1. New Born – Muse
2. Gavin’s Song – Marc Broussard
3. I Got Mine – The Black Keys
4. If It Kills Me – Jason Mraz
5. Stake Your Claim – Eli Paperboy Reed
6. Something – The Beatles
7. I Have You to Thank – Gavin DeGraw
8. The Great Salt Lake – Band of Horses
9. Frank Sinatra - Cake
10. Let Your Loss Be Your Lesson – Robert Plant & Alison Krauss
11. Bleeding Love – Leona Lewis
12. Mercy – Better Than Ezra
13. Black Dirt – Sea Wolf
14. Split Screen Sadness – John Mayer
15. Blood, Sweat & Fears – What Made Milwaukee Famous
16. Listen – Amos Lee
17. Lull – Andrew Bird
18. I Believe – Stevie Wonder
19. Me Too – The Dead Trees
20. The Longest Time – Billy Joel
21. Good Day – Jukebox the Ghost
22. Weeping – Josh Groban
23. No One’s Gonna Love You – Band of Horses
24. What You Though You Needed – Jack Johnson
25. Love You Madly – Cake
26. When the Lights Go Down – Ernie Halter
27. The Way I Feel – Matt Wertz
28. Believe – The Bravery
29. Where We Gonna Go From Here – Mat Kearney
30. Time is Running Out - Muse

The Office

I recently submitted my personal work evaluation form. As I was filling in my job description, I started thinking about what I wish I could include; however, I highly doubt that my supervisor would think my claims are legit.

Here’s a sampling of what I think my updated job description should entail:

1. Purchasing emergency items for directors as needed.
(Example: my coworker and I were sent on a mission to purchase one director a new dress tie….since he obviously can't dress himself properly, and suffered the ridicule of his peers for wearing a royal blue and white striped shirt with a navy polka dot tie. This involved trying to match up colors via a camera phone photo…tricky.)

2. Detaining annoying and/or controversial workers from interacting with my superiors.
(This is worth a serious raise all in itself....)

3. Personal errand/food runner.
(Which I really don’t mind, b/c it allows me to get out of the office for a bit.)

***A new one to add to the list...
4. Informant in a crime scene investigation...okay, maybe this is a little bit of an exaggeration...but I totally felt like I was part of a CSI episode whenever I got a phone call from an officer last week that went something like this:
"Miss, we're searching through a house that we just obtained a warrant for, and in our search we've come across a girls state basketball championship ring for 2003. We wanted to know if you could tell us who won that year, so we can get a better idea of who we are looking for."
It was definitely a moment that deserved it's own background music.